articles / Family life

Someday they’ll have to do it without me

As I laid under the covers this morning getting my last minute snuggles with Tobias before I had to greet the big boys and their big boy problems, I had a thought.

When Josiah turns 20 years old, I’ll be turning 40. When Samuel hits 25, I’ll be 50. When Tobias gets to be my age right now (27 if you’re wondering), I will be 54 years old. And that’s when the thinking got a bit more deep.

Right now these boys depend on me for everything. They depend on me to keep them fed, keep them warm and clothed, and keep them safe. Someday they won’t depend on me for those things.

They’ll be adults and they’ll rely on what me and their dad have taught them. Oh I know they’ll still lean on us as adults because we’ll make ourselves available for that — that’s the way things are with my parents. But someday, there will be a day when they won’t have the opportunity to come to me and their dad during a time of need. Someday, all they’ll have to rely on is what we taught them.

Then thoughts started to plague me.

Will they keep a close relationship when we’re no longer here to encourage them to love each other and be friends? Or will they drift apart because life and differences got in the way and only talk to each other on holidays?

Will they keep their faith in God when we’re not there to be an example?

Will they stay in close contact with other family members once the elders of the family are gone?

I don’t know the answers to these questions and I refuse to worry about something that is so far off. However, it does give me an idea about what my purpose is today.

Today my husband and I are not teaching my children how to not get on our nerves or simply how “hands are not for hitting,” we are teaching them how to survive without us. We are teaching them the family values that were taught to us with the hope that they will carry on those family values through future generations. We are teaching them to love one another unconditionally with empathy and compassion so that when we are gone they will have comfort in each other.

Someday my boys will be men. They’ll have careers, wives, and children. Someday they won’t be able to call mom and ask for advice. Someday all they’ll have is what I am teaching them right now.



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