articles / Family life

I am not the Proverbs woman

For a long time I’ve identified myself on my blog as a woman striving to be a Proverbs woman/mom. I’ve kept those verses in my mind and used them like a measuring stick, only to find that I have never measured up.

I won’t put the scripture here because most of us are familiar with it (if you want to read it  check out Proverbs), but I’ll give you the basic gist of it.

The Proverbs woman is a good woman who’s worth is more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her to no end. She treats him with kindness and is never ugly to him. She’s a bargain hunter that gathers the best fabrics she can find and then she knits and sews for her family. She brings back “exotic” surprises for her family. She gets up at the crack of dawn to cook breakfast and start the day. She’s super organized and she’s a worker. She gets up early, dresses for success and finds something to get her hands into. She’s eager to work and in no hurry to finish at the end of the day. She’s a Mother Teresa who helps everyone in need. She’s not worried about keeping her family clothed because she makes her own clothes out of the fabric she chased down earlier. She’s apparently pretty classy too, dressing in silks.

Her husband is a respected man, partially because of how awesome his wife is I guess. Not only does she make clothes for her family, but she designs gowns and sells them. She knits sweaters and sells those too! These clothes aren’t too shabby either, they’re apparently awesome. And of course, she always has a smile on her face despite all that work she does. She never says anything she shouldn’t — everything she says is worth hearing and she always says it in a nice way.

She not only keeps a close watch on her kids, but she keeps them busy and productive. They respect her and praise her. Her husband joins in and praises her for her awesomeness.

She is the Proverbs woman. That is not me.  I’m not her.

I’m a bargain hunter, but I am not about to sew or knit all my family’s clothes. I try my very best to treat Jimmi the best way that I can, but I fail frequently. I try to be kind all the time, but sometimes that dark side slips out before I can rein it in. I get up early, but there’s no way I’m enthusiastic about getting up at dawn to cook breakfast. You might get pancakes, but you will probably get cereal. I try to be organized, but I’ve had to learn to plan loosely.

I’m not super enthusiastic about doing what needs to be done, but I try to get it done. And by the end of the day I’m ready to drop, not wishing I had more work to do. I can’t say that I always have a smile on my face and sometimes what I have to say is not nice or worth hearing.

I am not the Proverbs woman.

I can’t/don’t do all the things it says she did. I am working towards the same goal though.

I am trying to take care of my family the best way that I know how, the same as most other women in this world. I’m walking a different path than she did, but we’re on the same journey. We’re all on the same journey. That’s why I decided to make the change from striving to be a Proverbs mom to The Mom Odyssey. I’m not trying to chase after this woman or do everything the way she did it. I’m trying to do things to the best of my abilities for my family.

The best thing you can do is do the best of your abilities for your family. I believe that’s part of the theme of these verses. Not to do things a certain way, but to be the kind of woman that takes care of her family and loves her family.

For me it means staying home, homeschooling, and cooking things from scratch to save my family money. For you it may mean working and sending your kids to school. It may be hiring someone to clean your house so you have more time with the kids.

Who am I to question how you’re walking your odyssey? And who are you to question mine?


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