articles / Homeschooling

The days I want to quit

For moms who are new to the whole stay-at-home mom and homeschool thing there’s a secret among semi-veteran and veteran stay-at-home and homeschool moms.

As women, we want everyone to believe we have it all together. As stay-at-home and homeschool moms sometimes we feel we’ve got a lot to prove. If you’re new to this lifestyle you may be feeling inadequate. You may be feeling like you’re doing it all wrong. You may be wondering if you made the right decision.

Here’s the big secret: Most of us feel that way at one time or another.

Over the past few weeks my almost 7 year old has intentionally forgotten that he has to obey what me and his dad say. He’s resorted to forgetting his words and using his hands to get his point across. The house has become a jungle gym and I don’t understand why. School happens some days and most days we don’t accomplish everything I want to. My goal is to finish this grade level before Tobias, boy #3, gets here in August. I’m not sure if that’s going to happen.

My 2 year old is acting like the poster child of a 2 year old. He has screaming fits over the

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Perfect example of legitimate pouting from Samuel. He is a little cute when he’s pouting.

fact that he wants another slice of cheese from the fridge (he’s already had four). He flops on the floor and pouts when he gets milk instead of juice. He climbs on everything, tears up anything, everything belongs to him, and he is not afraid to resort to physical retaliation if he doesn’t get what he wants.

I don’t let them do any of the above things and there are always consequences for poor behavior. Samuel doesn’t get what he wants when he screams and cries and pouts so I don’t understand why he continues to do it. But he does.

All of that on top of the fact that my hormones are crazy and I’m exhausted almost constantly at 25 weeks pregnant doesn’t help. I’m less patient and get aggravated very easily. I’ve spent a few days over the past several weeks simply in survival mode.

The other night I finally just sat on my bed and cried to my husband and told him that after these past few weeks it almost seems like it’d be better for everyone if I shipped the kids off to school and daycare and just went back to work.

He said nothing. He didn’t try to talk me out of it and it didn’t agree with me.

Why?

Because he knows I don’t mean any of it.

I’m tired, cranky, and I really need a break every now and then. However, no matter how tired and frustrated I get, I know that the lies the devil is trying to feed me are not true. My kids would not be better off at daycare and public school. I would not be better off working 40 hours a week and doing drive-bys with my kids. I want to be home with my kids. I want to be able to homeschool my kids.

I was miserable when I was working full-time and leaving Josiah at preschool. That was before Samuel got here and before “real” school started with Josiah. I’d go nuts trying to drop three kids off every day to go and deal with people I may or may not like.

Once I finally stopped my own private fit I hit the reset button. Josiah is a rambunctious almost 7 year old. He needs more physical activity to stay sane. He’s nearly a grade level ahead already so if he doesn’t complete this grade level by the random date I set it’s not the end of the world. Continued consistency in discipline will once again steer him back in the direction of using words not hands to communicate.

As far as Samuel goes the big key is — he will grow out of it — eventually. As long as I persevere in ignoring the tantrums and keeping him from climbing out the window or jumping off the table it will eventually not be an issue. I don’t know many teenagers that leap off of the dining room table (there are a few I’m sure).

Since my own private fit and attitude reset things have been pretty good. I try to keep things in perspective and use a daily dose of Joy (Young Living Essential Oils). I don’t know if it’s the attitude change or the Joy (I firmly believe it’s both) but I feel much better.

If you’re having a day, week, month, or three months like I have don’t give up. You’re not crazy and you’re not a terrible mom. It’s normal. It will get better…eventually.

 

 

 

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