Every since I joined Facebook I’ve always shared the picture that warns women not to prank a pregnancy on April 1.
This plea is met with a few different feelings from various people. Just today I read multiple comments on one of these posts.
Here’s what some of the people said:
- Geez, why should we be so worried about being politically correct? It’s just a joke, quit being so easily offended.
- I totally agree with this, very heartless.
- I’ve lost a baby and struggled with fertility and this doesn’t bother me at all, it shouldn’t be a big deal.
- I do this with family and friends on my Facebook and they accept me for who I am. It’s not a big deal.
The insensitive comments actually outweighed the ones who agreed. I was shocked. I honestly didn’t realize so many people had no clue as to why this was a big deal. If you’re one of those who has silently scoffed at these pleas, take what I have to say to heart. This is for you. If your one of those women who cringes at the thought of someone pranking a pregnancy, this is for you. Share it so someone can read it.
Here’s the thing. No one is asking anyone to be politically correct for the sake of not offending anyone. At least not in the way people get “offended” or angry about something.
When a woman posts that pregnancy announcement or positive test, women who suffer from infertility or who have lost babies in the past are NOT mad. As one of those women I can tell you that sometimes it feels like you’ve been punched in the stomach. The wind is knocked out of you and you feel millions of emotions swirling inside of you. Tears will easily and quickly come and may come every time you think about it that day. That woman may think about it on and off throughout the entire rest of the day.
It’s not that you’re not happy for that woman, but you’re upset for you. “Why does she get to have a baby and I can’t?” “Why can’t this be easier for me?” If you’ve miscarried, you start thinking about how old that baby would be now. You also start thinking about how you’re going to intentionally make an effort to be happy and not bitter about this woman’s pregnancy. After all, your problems are not her fault. You start thinking about all of the pregnancy updates and baby bump pics your going to see over the next nine months. At the end of the nine months you’re going to be flooded with pics of this new adorable baby. Some women may “hide” this woman on their Facebook to save themselves the pain.
What I’ve just described for you is not a woman who is simply “offended” by your decision to prank people. She’s already fragile and now she feels broken by the news that she’s heard because it’s not her own.
For most women, the news of someone’s pregnancy is hurtful, but they genuinely want to be happy and supportive. They learn how to breathe through the initial gut shot and after a few minutes of tears they work to move forward. Babies are a part of life for most people. Those of us in the involuntary infertility/pregnancy loss club understand that.
However, it is cruel for a woman to endure all of that several times over the course of a day and then find out it was all a big joke.
“Ha Ha! Just kidding, I’m not really pregnant!!” Seems funny until you think about how so many women cry daily because they want that positive test so badly. The hardest trial in their life has been turned into something to joke about.
For those that struggle with infertility that don’t seem bothered by this April Fool’s Joke, that’s great. At this point in my life it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to. For all you know, a woman on your timeline could have just received the news that she will never have a baby. She may have just ran out and bought another box of expensive tests because she felt that twinge, but learned she wasn’t really pregnant.
I guarantee there is a least one person on your Facebook that struggles with infertility or pregnancy loss. You may not even have a clue. She may never tell you. But there’s a good chance that prank would be a devastating blow to her.
In the past, before Facebook I have played this prank on a select few people. None of those people were struggling with infertility and it was a private joke — not a blanket prank on Facebook.
You would never dream of putting up a post on April Fool’s that says you have cancer or that a family member died. Why? Because we can all pretty much agree it’s cruel and insensitive. Let’s please all agree that posting that you’re pregnant as a joke is just as cruel and insensitive. If you want to play the prank, tell your husband or your dad in person or do it to someone in private that you KNOW is not struggling with this. Don’t post it for the general public to see.