The last time I posted on here was four months ago on November 18.
The last time I posted I was struggling to accept my toddler’s nature and how to deal with it without going crazy. I was trying to balance homeschooling, housework, parenting, and a massive amount of Christmas gift-making. I’d recently started volunteering as Communications Coordinator for a local non-profit and we were in the process of filling out paperwork to become foster parents.
I look back at what my life looked liked back in mid-November and where we are today is surprisingly different than where we thought we’d be. Things change so quickly. Often the changes are unexpected and we have choice but to face the changes.
Josiah will be 7 years old in about 3 1/2 months. About that same time Ivan will be going home back to Spain. I know his parents are anxiously awaiting for June to get here so he can go back home to them, but their happy reunion will be a sad goodbye for us and I’m not quite sure I’m ready for that. Samuel just turned 2 years old a few weeks ago and he most definitely acts like it. However, these were all changes that we knew were coming, we’re just surprised they’re coming so quickly.
The big change in plans and surprise came on Dec. 28, just a few days before the new year. After 5 miscarriages, the most recent one being over the summer, and the growing feeling that I was finished with baby phase I was hit with the surprise of my life when I took a test and popped up positive — with a baby.
I’d already convinced myself that I was done with diapers, nursing (Samuel finally stopped sometime in November), and midnight wake up calls. It was totally unexpected and unplanned. But you know what? Now, at 15 weeks along, I’m not worried about those past feelings of being through with the baby phase or the fact that I just got done nursing or the fact that I’m being thrown back into not going anywhere without baby for a while. I’m thinking about the fact that we’re going to have another precious cuddly baby — another unexpected blessing from God after all of our struggles.
Who knows…maybe this time we’ll have a little girl.