This post is the second in the series on perfectionism. In my last post I confessed that I was a perfectionist. I shared the fact that being a perfectionist doesn’t mean your life seems perfect it means you want your life to seem/be perfect.
I fight with image frequently and it wasn’t until I started thinking about it that I realized just how much I fight with it. I can’t stand having my picture taken because it ruins my mental image of what I think I look like with the reality of the way other people see me. I get frustrated with trying to get dressed in the morning because I still haven’t lost all of the weight from having Samuel so I’m not in pre-pregnancy clothes yet. As big as I got with Samuel I don’t think that my hips would fit in my old jeans anymore whether I lost the weight or not.
I try to eat better and drink more water and less sodas. I take my measurements periodically to see if it’s working. There are times when I feel like I’m making headway and I do lose the inches but my size fluctuates throughout the month. I feel bad when I eat too much because I know that I’m probably going to gain all that weight back that I just lost.
My hair is another thing that frustrates me. It has zero volume and zero curl. I’m not so bothered by the lack of curl, but the volume thing makes it rough to make any hairstyle look good. I can use volumizing spray or mousse and it does nothing. I can use volume enhancing powder and tease my hair into a mess and I’ll be lucky if the volume lasts a few hours. I do have those *Aha* days when my hair does exactly what I want it to.
I catch myself comparing myself to others and I don’t even mean to. I know that I shouldn’t do it and I know there’s nothing wrong with me. For the most part I’m actually pretty confident about myself — there are just those days with I fight those negative thoughts.
Do you know what though? I don’t have to please others. My appearance is not important in the scheme of things. Something that us perfectionists (and all the other struggling women) need to remember is this:
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them….Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.” Genesis 1:27 and 31.
God — our Heavenly Father — created us in His image. He created us to be like him. And you know what? After He created us, He said “It was very good.”
In Psalm it says,
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13-14
God took the time to form us in His image. My Bible commentary says that “you covered me” may translate to “You wove me together”. God wove us together. It says that we are wonderfully made. If I am made in God’s image and the Bible tells me that He wove me together and said I am wonderfully made, then how can I spend so much time being critical of myself?
My appearance means nothing in the eyes of God because He’s looking at my heart — not my hair. I may not think my appearance is perfect like I want, but I was created exactly the way that God wanted me to be. I was made by a perfect Creator and I think that’s more important than having my idea of perfect hair and the perfect body. I am trying every day to see myself the way God sees me and less the way that I think the world sees me.
There’s a song that’s perfect (Yay! Perfection…) for this post. It’s “Beautiful for me,” by Nichole Nordeman.