Since making my decision to be a permanent, full-time stay-at-home mom my family and I have had this ongoing joke about the things I can do while I’m staying at home “doing nothing.”
Don’t panic — the reason we are joking about this is because we all know that this theory of stay-at-home mom’s doing nothing but eating ice cream and watching soaps in their p.j.’s all day is a load of malarkey.
The thing is, whether women want to admit it or not, there are things that women who work do not have time to do or are exhausted when they do them.
Here are a few things on my “wish list” of things I haven’t been able to do:
- Write more: By nature I am a creative writer. I love blogging and I love writing fiction and creative non-fiction. I enjoy journalism (which is what I do now), but the truth is I don’t have any time to write other than Facebook posts and blog posts.
- Spend more time with my family: I know this isn’t true, but I feel like I never spend time with Jimmi or Josiah and now I’m about to spread my time between two children instead of one. I’m sure I spend as much time with Josiah as he wants, but the thing is I always want to spend more time with him. I feel guilty when I let him watch TV while I do something else because I feel like I should be spending it with him.
- Cook more: I love to cook. I prefer to cook from scratch and cook healthier meals. I hate the fact that throughout the week we have several “fend for yourself” nights or nights that I buy $5 pizzas instead of cooking a decent meal.
There are other things of course, but that was just a few things that I wish I could do more of but don’t.
Here are a few things that I’ve decided I’m going to do or have been encouraged to do now that I’ll be staying at home:
- The three things I listed on my wish list. I will definitely be blogging more and will be working on more of my creative writing. I will be cooking more and from scratch as a way to save money.
- Homeschool: This will be a definite full time job trying to teach Josiah (and eventually Samuel).
- Taking care of my kids: Josiah is pretty self sufficient, but since the legal age of an adult is 18, I still have a few more years of parenting for him. Samuel will be very need for at least the next year of course because he’ll be a baby and I’ll be breastfeeding.
- Sewing: This may seem like a hobby type thing and something I’ve been doing in my not-so-spare time, but sewing diapers, wipes and other things that I’ve made are not only things my family needs, but will save my family money. I need to have time to do these types of projects. A few people have told me that I should make stuff and sell it on Etsy, but I don’t know that I’m quite ready to take on that adventure. Eventually maybe, but I don’t know.
Of course there are the other things that I’ll be doing throughout my day that we all have to do anyway — things like laundry, dishes, and all other household chores. Josiah will be playing soccer this spring so that”ll be one more thing to the list.
The thing is, this post is in no way supposed to insinuate anything negative like how moms who stay home are better or try and one-up working moms. The fact is, every mother has to work. If a mom works 40 hours on the job while their children are in school or daycare and then comes home to cook and clean, she’s providing for her kids and taking care of the house. If a mom works 40 hours teaching her children at home or taking care of her children while trying to cook and clean, she’s providing for her children. Either way the children are taken care of and the housework is still getting done.
There are moms that I know that stay home and have homes that look “lived in” and there’s moms who work outside of the home that have homes that look “lived in” (typically my home…and my car). Then again, there are moms that I know that work or stay home and their houses are spotless (definitely not my home).
I’ve said it before and I think its something that needs to be repeated over and over again for all moms. We have to make decisions based on what’s best for our family and what we feel like God has called us to do. I feel like my home life has been greatly lacking because I have worked outside of the home. Some women don’t feel that way. I feel like I need to be at home and focus on taking care of my family. That’s what I’ve chosen to do.
I have to say though I’m super excited about getting to stay at home and “do nothing”.
- The start of a new chapter (beorganicbewell.com)
- Why Am I Feeling Guilty For Being A Stay-At-Home Mom? (blogher.com)