articles / Family life / Pregnancy

Getting big brother ready for baby

When we first found out I was pregnant, we told our parents and my sister-in-laws (who suspected I was expecting, but didn’t want to say anything), but we waited to tell everyone else because of our past issues. We waited to tell Josiah until I was about eight or nine weeks.

I know that a lot of people wait to tell their children until much later (especially really young children), but I didn’t want to do that.

Me and my sister, Rachel. I was about 15 and Rachel was 10.

Me and my sister, Rachel. I was about 15 and Rachel was 10.

I was 4 1/2 years old when my sister was born. I remember just a few things about the pregnancy/birth of my sister, Rachel. I actually have this random memory of my mom getting an ultrasound. I remember hearing the ultrasound gel squeeze out of the bottle and thinking that it was weird that stuff was being squirted on her belly.

The next thing I remember, although my mom denies it, is my mom saying something about how her water broke. My dad worked night shift and it was late at night. My mom woke me up and I don’t know if she said it to me or if she said it to my Granny on the phone, “My water broke.” I remember this because I went into the kitchen and checked under the sink because I couldn’t figure out why the water breaking was a big enough deal to be up in the middle of the night.

Then I remember being at the hospital and my Aunt Angela coming and getting me. I spent the rest of the night at her house playing with my older cousins.

The only other thing I remember is telling my parents if the baby was a girl they could name her Jasmine. If the baby was a boy they could name him Aladdin. I bet my sister is glad they didn’t take my advice.

Me and Rachel at 18 and 22. We took some senior pics together because she graduated high school a week after I graduated college.

Me and Rachel at 18 and 22. We took some senior pics together because she graduated high school a week after I graduated college.

I don’t know how much my parents tried to involve me in the coming of my new baby brother or sister (they didn’t find out the sex until she was born), but I don’t remember much at all.

Interestingly enough, when Samuel is born Josiah will be almost the same exact age I was when Rachel was born.

Sibling rivalry can start early, especially when an only child becomes one of two children. That child can have a wide range of feeling from jealousy to anger to excitement about the new baby.

I always wanted Josiah to be involved in the journey of having another baby. He is just as much a part of this family as Jimmi and me and this baby coming affects him just as much as everyone else.

We talked about the pregnancy a lot earlier on when he couldn’t see the visual effects of the pregnancy (aside from the throwing up and sleeping). We didn’t take him to the 10 week ultrasound just in case, but he got a picture that he proudly showed off for several days.

I show him photos that BabyCenter has about what the baby looks like this week — he asks to see them frequently. We also took him to the 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex.

I encourage him to feel the baby move and he talks to him often. I showed him pictures of what Samuel’s room might look like and let him “help” me pick the theme and baby stuff.

A few days ago he helped me pick out colors of fleece material for cloth diapers I am making (more on that another time). Josiah wants to be very involved in the process and we’ve let him be extremely involved. If I were having a natural delivery (I have to have a c-section, but more on that closer to time), he would be in the room with us.

This was Josiah holding his photo of the first ultrasound at 10 weeks...seems so long ago!

This was Josiah holding his photo of the first ultrasound at 10 weeks…seems so long ago!

Josiah is really excited about his new little brother. Heck, he kept asking me where his brothers and sisters were before I ever got pregnant. He wants this baby and he wants to help. I don’t know if that’s just his personality or if him being involved has made the transition easier.

Hopefully once Samuel is born and Josiah figures out that Samuel will be hogging some of his time, he’ll still be happy about Samuel being here. My goal once Samuel gets here is to still allow Josiah to be helpful and be as involved as he would like to be (and as involved as he is really capable of being).

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