When I got that big fat positive test for the very first time, never in my mind did I anticipate that something would go wrong. I mean of course there was always that possibility, but I was never that worried about it. Yes, I poked Josiah until the day he was born just so I could make sure he was still wiggling around in my belly and I had many sleepless moments the first several months just to make sure he was breathing, but my sense of concern was at a normal level.
After that first miscarriage, everything changed. Suddenly it was not something lost in the back of my mind that could go wrong, it was on the forefront of my mind.
When I got that positive test on June 9 (my Mom’s birthday — happy birthday Mom) I was concerned, but I was trying to hold back the worry and concern. Every time I went to the bathroom I held my breath, praying that I hadn’t started spotting. At my 10 week ultrasound I prayed the entire time and held my breath when my doctor started the ultrasound. I prayed that we’d see that little baby wiggle. Sure enough, baby did.
At my 16 week appointment, even though I’d started feeling some movement, I held my breath as she checked for the heartbeat. Since then baby has moved daily and I’ve been so thankful to be able to feel a healthy, lively baby.
Still though, leading up to the 20 week ultrasound, there are those doubts. The thing is, I knew baby was alive and well, but do you know how many things can show up at that 20 week ultrasound? That’s when they find heart defects, cleft lips, and other things that could be wrong. I was not worried because I knew that God was in control, but there was still that concern. I’d gotten to 10 weeks, which was further than I’d gone since Josiah. We’d seen a healthy baby on the ultrasound and heard the healthy heartbeat, but at 20 weeks would there be a physical issue that would have to be dealt with?
There are so many things that can go wrong during a pregnancy and for someone like me who has had things go wrong, it’s hard to not think about those things that you didn’t think about before.
Praise God though the doctor told us today that the baby is perfectly healthy. The heart is fully developed as it should be, the brain looks as it should, the spine is good, etc…basically, baby is 100% healthy…
Oh…and baby is A BOY!!!!
We are so excited, especially my 4-year-old son. He was rooting for a little brother and that’s what he’s getting. He said today, “I’m so excited about having a little brother because I don’t like little sisters.” First thing he wanted to do was get his little brother’s room painted and then he wanted to go buy stuff for him.
At this point, it’s all down hill so to speak. We are officially at the halfway point. We’ve had our last ultrasound, we know it’s a boy and now we just wait for him to grow big so we can meet him sometime between the end of January and February 11.
- Just like Daddy Already! (sunnysideofinfertility.wordpress.com)