articles / Pregnancy

Pregnant and moody, but trying to maintain control

For the most part, on a normal day I am fairly composed and my mood doesn’t fluctuate at the drop of the hat. On a pregnant day, I just pray that my mood stays hormonesconsistent and doesn’t embarrass me too much.

If I get angry, it normally takes quite a bit to make me angry enough to publicize my anger. If I’m upset, someone better be dying before I cry in front of anyone — I’m not anti-emotional, I just try to have control over my emotions (not saying that people who wear their emotions on their sleeves are bad).

The day before I found out I was pregnant, I got the sneaking suspicious that something was wrong because I cried over something stupid. Jimmi told me that he might not get the weekend we were going to go camping off. He told me he’d fix it, but still, I cried and threw a fit. I knew it was odd even when I was doing and that was my first clue to this pregnancy.

I’ve had to be more careful about what comes out of my mouth because I’m aggressive when I’m not weepy. Little things make me angry. Most of the time I can talk myself down because as Joyce Meyer says, our feelings and emotions lie. Those feelings and emotions really lie when you’re pregnant.

This past weekend when having friends over, I cried over something silly. I knew it was silly at the time, but I just burst into tears. For those of you that know me, know this is out of character.

Pregnancy is NOT an excuse to be mean to anyone or to guilt anyone by throwing a hissy fit. However, I do feel there is an area for a larger amount of grace. I am responsible for what I say and what I do when I am angry, just like everyone else is. The only problem is, I’ve got to try harder to fight those lying feelings. I know that Jimmi is not intentionally being insensitive and I know that crazy person calling the newspaper to complain isn’t attacking me personally. I just have think A LOT more and A LOT longer before I speak or act.

As far as the crying goes, it’s really not so much harmful to others as it is just frustrating for me. I mean seriously, I cried watching Mighty Joe Young with Josiah the other day — a few times actually.

The main thing is, we should all remember that feelings lie and pregnant hormone-induced feelings lie even more. All I have to do is breathe deeply, pray,  remind myself it really isn’t as bad as it seems and try not to kill anyone before my due date.

 

— Erica

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